The Prophet in His House

the prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, was the finest among all people, the best to his ummah and the best to his family. how could he not be so when he, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “the best of you is the one who is the best towards his wife, and i am the best of you towards my wives.” [at-tirmithi; al-albaani: saheeh (authentic)]

in fact, the prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, was the finest man ever in this respect. he excelled in this matter and realized the criterion properly and according to the noblest moral standards. he, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, would respect them, treat them kindly, nicely and justly, and joke with them. he was merciful, generous and loyal to them and was much than what marital life requires. he was very compassionate towards them and never missed an opportunity to smile with them.

the respect the prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, had for his wives reached an extent that was unprecedented among arabs and non-arabs alike. he, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, even sat beside his camel putting up his knee for his wife safiyyah to step on so she could mount the camel. [al-bukhaari and muslim]

moreover, the prophet's respect, love and appreciation of his wives were not accidental nor confined to their lifetimes only. rather, they were deeply-rooted in his character and extended beyond their deaths. he would slaughter a sheep and send it to the female friends of his wife khadeejah, may allaah be pleased with her, and that was after her death. [al-bukhaari and muslim]

he was very tolerant with his wives and would have patience with them when they were jealous.

he would calm the anger of his wife that was treated wrongly and advise the other and remind her about allaah the almighty. it was narrated that anas, may allaah be pleased with him, said, safiyyah was informed that hafsah had called her the daughter of a jew, so she started to cry. the prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, then came in and asked her: “why are you crying?” she said, “hafsah called me the daughter of a jew.” to this the prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, replied: “indeed, you are the daughter of a prophet, your uncle was also a prophet, and you are the wife of a prophet, so what does she have over you to boast about?” he then turned to hafsah and said: “fear allaah, o hafsah.” [ahmad, at-tirmithi and ibn hibbaan; al-albaani: saheeh (authentic)]

he, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, would see them with a smile on his face, thus filling their hearts and houses with happiness and cheerfulness.

out of his sublime morality, he would treat them kindly, nicely and joke with them. he would pronounce the name of ‘aa’ishah, may allaah be pleased with her, tunefully such as “o ‘aa’ish” [al-bukhaari] and call her: “o humayraa’” (the one with a ruddy complexion) [an- nasaa’i; al-albaani: saheeh (authentic)] also, he would honor her by calling her by the name of her father saying: “o daughter of as-siddeeq” [ahmad, at-tirmithi and ibn maajah; al- albaani: saheeh (authentic)] he did this out of affection for her and out of respect and appreciation for her family.

he would help his wives in their household chores and fulfill their needs. ‘aa’ishah and the prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, would wash from a single pot of water and he would say to her: “leave some for me,” and she would say the same to him. [al-bukhaari and muslim]

the prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, would call the girls of the ansaar to play with her. it was narrated that ‘aa’ishah, may allaah be pleased with her, said, “i would play with dolls in the presence of the prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and i had friends who would play with me. when the messenger of allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, entered they would hide themselves and he would call them to come out and play with me.” [al-bukhaari and muslim]

the prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, was a compassionate man, and if she wanted something he would go along with it if it was permissible and would not transgress the religious prescribed limits such as when she asked him to perform ‘umrah (lesser pilgrimage).

also, the prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, would put his mouth on the place (of the cup) from which she drank and then he would drink. it was narrated that ‘aa’ishah, may allaah be pleased with her, said, “i would drink when i was menstruating, then i would hand it (the vessel) to the prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and he would put his mouth where mine had been and drink, and i would eat meat from a bone when i was menstruating, then hand it over to the prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and he would put his mouth where mine had been.” [muslim]

the prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, would lean on her lap and recite the quran while she was menstruating. [al-bukhaari and muslim] he also would request that she put on an izaar (a dress worn below the waist) during her menses and would enjoy her without having intercourse.

[al-bukhaari and muslim] also, he would kiss her while he was fasting. [al-bukhaari and muslim]

from the gentle manners of the prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is that he would allow her to play as narrated above. it was also narrated that ‘aa’ishah, may allaah be pleased with her, was asked about what the prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, would do in his house, she replied, "he would keep himself busy serving his family and when it was the time for prayer he would perform ablution and go out to pray." [al-bukhaari]

it was also narrated that ‘aa’ishah, may allaah be pleased with her, said, “he would stitch his own clothes, mend his own sandals and do whatever ordinary men do in their houses.” [ahmad and ibn hibbaan; al-albaani: saheeh (authentic)]

it was also narrated that ‘aa’ishah, may allaah be pleased with her, said, i went out with the prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, on a journey. at that time i was a young girl and was quite slender. the prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said to the people: “go on ahead,” so they went ahead. then he said to me; “come, let us have a race.” so i raced with him, and i won. he let the matter rest until i had gained weight. later, i accompanied him on another journey. he told the people: “go on ahead,” so they went ahead. he said to me: “come, let us have a race.” so i raced with him, and he won. he began to laugh, and said: “this is for that.” [ahmad and abu daawood; al-albaani: saheeh (authentic)]

allaah the almighty, the most truthful says (what means) describing him: {and indeed, you are of a great moral character.} [quran 68:4]