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He, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, did not interfere in minor arguments between his daughters and their husbands:

Auther : Muhammad Saalih Al-Munajjid
Under category : How He treated them?
378 2023/01/05 2023/01/07
Article translated to : العربية

Sahl ibn Sa’d (a Companion) narrated that the Prophet of Allah, sallallaahu‘alayhi wa sallam, came to the house of Faatimah, and he did not find‘Ali in the house So he, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said to her: “Where is your cousin [‘Ali]?” She said: “There was an argument between us, and we became angry, so he left and did not take his afternoon nap here in the house.” The Prophet of Allah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, told a man to look for him and the man came back and said that ‘Ali was sleeping in the mosque. So the Prophet of Allah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, went to him while he was lying down, and his upper garment had fallen on his side, and some

of the dirt from the floor was on him. The Prophet of Allah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, began wiping the soil off him, and saying: “Get up, Abu  Turaab!” Ibn Hajar (a scholar) said: “From the benefits of this narration is that it is wise to humor the husband of one’s daughter and calm his anger if they (the couple) have a disagreement.” We notice that the Prophet of Allah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, did not ask about the details of the argument between Faatimah and ‘Ali or the reason they became angry. Rather he overlooked all that and went to ‘Ali trying to make him happy. Many times when the family gets involved in an argument between the couple, it only causes the problems to increase and become more serious.

Among other benefits is that the narration tells us about the good manners of the Prophet of Allah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, because he went to ‘Ali to try to please him, and he wiped the dirt off him to cheer him up and he jokingly called him by his nickname “Abu Turaab” to put him at ease. He did not blame ‘Ali for making his daughter angry, even though she had a high status in the eyes of the Prophet of Allah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, nor did he speak to him about that, and this is from his wisdom.

Thus, this narration tells us about the virtue of being gentle to the daughter’s husbands, and calming them down and not blaming them to preserve their love.

Ibn Battaal (a scholar) said: “From the benefits of the narration is that even the most virtuous people may still develop problems with their wives, as anger is an integral part of human nature. This may even cause him to leave his house out of anger, and he should not be blamed for that. It is also possible that the reason ‘Ali left the house was his fear that he may say something while he was angry that would not be befitting to the high status of Faatimah. Thus, he cut off that possibility by leaving the house until they both calmed  down.”

It is better for the husband to leave the house if he feels that the heat of the arguments may cause the marital problems to increase. Just as leaving the house in such a situation may cause him to look at himself and to realize any mistakes that have been made, which may not occur if he stayed home.

As for Faatimah, she did not leave the home; rather, she stayed in her  own house. This is something that lessens the problem and its effects, as opposed to if she had left for her father’s home.

Thus, it is the responsibility of the family to have a positive role in guiding, advising the wife to be patient and to treat her husband kindly.


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