Addressing both Parties in Cases where the Blame is Shared

in many cases, the blame is shared and the person who makes a mistake may himself have been wronged, but the blame is not to be shared equally. in this case both parties must be addressed and advised. there follows an example. ‘abd-allaah ibn abi awfaa said: “ ‘abd al-rahmaan ibn ‘awf complained about khaalid ibn al-waleed to the messenger of allaah (peace and blessings of allaah be upon him). the prophet (peace and blessings of allaah be upon him) said:

‘do not upset any of those who were present at badr, for even if you were to spend gold equal to the size of uhud, your deeds would not equal theirs.’ he said, ‘they insulted me first, and i responded.’ the prophet (peace and blessings of allaah be upon him) said: ‘do not upset khaalid, for he is one of the swords of allaah sent against the kuffaar.’” (al-haythami said: the men of al-tabaraani are thiqaat. al-majma’, 9/349. see also al-mu’jam al-kabeer by al-tabaraani, hadeeth no. 3801).