Religion is to give sincere advice : Etiquette of giving Advice

religion is to give sincere advice

etiquette of giving advice

all perfect praise is due to allaah the almighty, whose help and forgiveness we beseech. we repent to him and seek refuge in him from any evil that our hearts conceal and from the consequences of our bad deeds. whoever allaah the almighty guides will never be led astray and whoever he allows to deviate will never find guidance. i testify that there is none worthy of worship except allaah, the one who has no associate. i testify also that muhammad is his messenger and slave.

allaah the almighty says:

{o you who have believed, fear allaah as he should be feared and do not die except as muslims [in submission to him].}[aal-‘imraan: 102]

he the almighty also says:

 {o mankind, fear your lord, who created you from one soul and created from it its mate and dispersed from both of them many men and women. and fear allaah, through whom you ask one another, and the wombs. indeed allaah is ever, over you, an observer.}[an-nisaa’: 1]

he the almighty also says:

{o you who have believed, fear allaah and speak words of appropriate justice. he will [then] amend for you your deeds and forgive you your sins. and whoever obeys allaah and his messenger has certainly attained a great attainment. }[al-ahzaab: 70-71]

to proceed:

the most truthful speech is that of the book of allaah (the noble quran) and the best of guidance is that of muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him. the worst of evils are the newly invented matters (foreign to the true teachings of islam), and every newly invented matter (in the religion) is a bid‘ah (innovation) and every bid‘ah is a dhalaalah (misguidance) and every misguidance is in the hellfire.

religion is sincere advice:

after one reformed himself, chose his friend that will help him and made efforts to reform his children, he then should move to reform others. he can begin with advising people.

however, before you start, o dear muslim brother, you will be exposed to some matters:

firstly,disagreement.

secondly,dispute.

thirdly,shunning and boycotting.

then what shall you do? what is the etiquette that the righteous reformer should follow in these matters?

it is what we will begin with: the etiquette of disagreement, dispute, shunning and giving advice.

advice is a command from the messenger of allaah, peace and blessings be upon him, to his nation. he said in the hadeeth reported by muslim on the authority of tameem ad-daari: “religion is naseehah (sincerity) thrice.” we said, “to whom?” then he, peace and blessings be upon him, said,

“to allaah, his book, his messenger, to the leaders of the muslims and their common folk.”

(this means, to allaah and his book, and his messenger, we must be sincere, and to the leaders of the muslims and their common folk, we have to give them a sincere advice, as naseehah means sincere advice and sincerity)  

what is the advice then?

it is to seek goodness for the advised person. it was also said that advice means: sincere love for the other through manifesting all what implies good to him. that is because advice in the language of the arab refers to making honey pure and free from wax i.e. as if you give your brother pure honey that has a cure for him.

whoever can reject honey only if you present it to him in a bad way or in a bad pot? accordingly, advice is a honey which you present to your brother not a stone you hurl it to harm him.

al-imaam al-khattaabi, may allaah have mercy upon him, said in explaining the previous hadeeth: “the linguistic root of naseehah means purity. this is in the same sense as honey is purified from the wax.” thus, the meaning of naseehah for allaah the almighty is the soundness of the belief in the oneness of him and sincerity of intention in his worship. as for the meaning of naseehah for his book, it is to believe in it and act according to it. naseehah for his messenger is to believe in his prophethood and obey him in all what he ordered and prohibited. as for naseehah for the common fold of muslims, it is to guide them to their interests.”

imam abu amr ibn as-salaah also said: naseehah for the leaders of muslims is to help them in what is right and obey them in it, remind them with it, draw their attention to it in kind and lenient way, avoid revolt against them and supplicate allaah the almighty to make them successful.”

giving good consul is the message of the prophets, peace be upon them. it is mentioned in the soorat (chapter) of al-a‘raaf for four times:

-nooh (noah), peace be upon him, said to his people (as allaah the almighty says on his behalf):

{i convey to you the messages of my lord and advise you; and i know from allaah what you do not know.}  [al-a‘raaf: 62] 

-hood, peace be upon him, also said (as he the almighty says on his behalf):

{i convey to you the messages of my lord, and i am to you a trustworthy adviser.}[al-a‘raaf: 68]  

(trustworthy adviser) for advice really requires trustworthiness.

- shu‘ayb, peace be upon him, said (as he the almighty says on his behalf):

{and he turned away from them and said, "o my people, i had certainly conveyed to you the messages of my lord and advised you, so how could i grieve for a disbelieving people?"}[al-a‘raaf: 93]

-saalih, peace be upon him, said (as he the almighty says on his behalf): {and he turned away from them and said, "o my people, i had certainly conveyed to you the message of my lord and advised you, but you do not like advisors."} [al-a‘raaf: 79]

advice is something difficult and heavy for the people. thus, do not get angry when they do not respond to you. allaah the almighty says to his prophet, peace and blessings be upon him:

{but if they do not respond to you - then know that they only follow their [own] desires. and who is more astray than one who follows his desire without guidance from allaah? indeed, allaah does not guide the wrongdoing people.}[al-qasas: 50]

advice is one of the rights of muslims on you. it is not at all a kind of generosity with your muslim brother. but rather, it is an obligatory duty on you for the hadeeth reported by muslim on the authority of abu hurairah, may allaah be pleased with him, that the messenger of allaah, peace and blessings be upon him, said:  “the rights of the muslim upon another muslim are six.” it was said, “and what are they, oh messenger of allaah?” he replied, “when you meet him, give him the greeting of peace, when he invites you, respond to his invitation, when he seeks your advice, advise him, and when he sneezes and says:" al-hamdullaah (all praise is due to allaah)," you say yarhamuka allaah (may allaah show mercy to you), when he becomes ills, visit him, and when he dies follow him (i.e. his funeral).” [reported by muslim]

allaah the almighty has absolved those who have excuses from all blame; however, he commanded them with giving advice.

allaah the almighty says:

{there is not upon the weak or upon the ill or upon those who do not find anything to spend any discomfort when they are sincere to allaah and his messenger.}[at-tawbah: 91]

advice is in the matters of religion and that of the worldly life. the one who gives advice does not get out of two cases: he whether enjoin what is good or forbid what is evil.

if he forbids something evil, he may be exposed to what he hates. allaah the almighty says: {o my son, establish prayer, enjoin what is right, forbid what is wrong, and be patient over what befalls you. indeed, [all] that is of the matters [requiring] determination.} [luqmaan: 17]

contemplate thoughtfully the saying of allaah the almighty: (enjoin what is right, forbid what is wrong, and be patient over what befalls you.) indicates  the one who advises people and forbid them from doing evils deeds may hear from them what harms him.

look at the statement of allaah the almighty:

{you will surely be tested in your possessions and in yourselves. and you will surely hear from those who were given the scripture before you and from those who associate others with allaah much abuse. but if you are patient and fear allaah - indeed, that is of the matters [worthy] of determination.}[aal-‘imraan: 186]

allaah the almighty commanded the people of da‘wah (calling to islam) and those who give advice to maintain patience and piety.

by the permission of allaah, we will inform you with the etiquette of disagreement in the remaining part of the series so that the matter may be right and the picture may be clear.

the attributes of the people who give advice are mentioned in the following verse in which allaah the almighty says: {and do not turn your cheek [in contempt] toward people and do not walk through the earth exultantly. indeed, allaah does not like everyone self-deluded and boastful. and be moderate in your pace and lower your voice; indeed, the most disagreeable of sounds is the voice of donkeys."} [luqmaan: 18-19]

do not contempt people, do not raise your voice and be calm, and do not think high of yourself. these are the attributes of the people who give advice.

dear muslim brother, know that any action cannot be successful and you will not be rewarded for it unless you have sincere intention to allaah the almighty and not to expect reward except from allaah the almighty. also, you should know that if you guided someone to something good, then you will take the same reward of him by the permission of allaah.

think attentively in the statement of the messenger of allaah, peace and blessings be upon him, narrated by abu mas‘ood al-ansaari, may allaah be pleased with him, in which he peace and blessings be upon him, said: “the one who guides others to goodness will have a reward like that of the one who does it.” [reported by muslim in his saheeh]

the noble quran has guided us to the etiquette and arts of giving advice and dealing with people. allaah the almighty says: {and tell my servants to say that which is best. indeed, satan induces [dissension] among them. indeed satan is ever, to mankind, a clear enemy.} [al-israa’: 53]

 he the almighty also says:

{so by mercy from allaah, [o muhammad], you were lenient with them. and if you had been rude [in speech] and harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from about you. so pardon them and ask forgiveness for them and consult them in the matter. and when you have decided, then rely upon allaah. indeed, allaah loves those who rely [upon him].}[aal-‘imraan: 159]

advice should be done in a way that is best. also, one should be very cautious so that the devil may not interfere between him and his brother. beware of harshness and strictness in advising people, otherwise, they will leave you, disband from about you and you will be a corrupter.

dear brother, know that harshness is in the heart. it means that you do not feel the pain of the people towards whom you are harsh, for whom do not find excuses, do not show mercy to their weakness, and advise strictly i.e. speaking with people harshly or in a violent way. in this way, you make them hate what is right and make advice something bitter that cannot be accepted. so fear allaah the almighty and be a righteous and reformer for this will make you successful by the permission of allaah.