Chapter 41: Prohibition of Disobeying Parents and severance of Relations

allah, the exalted, says:

"would you then, if you were given the authority, do mischief in the land, and sever your ties of kinship? such are they whom allah has cursed, so that he has made them deaf and blinded their sight.'' (47:22,23)

"and those who break the covenant of allah, after its ratification, and sever that which allah has commanded to be joined (i.e., they sever the bond of kinship and are not good to their relatives), and work mischief in the land, on them is the curse (i.e., they will be far away from allah's mercy), and for them is the unhappy (evil) home (i.e., hell).'' (13:25)

"and your rubb has decreed that you worship none but him. and that you be dutiful to your parents. if one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour. and lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: `my rubb! bestow on them your mercy as they did bring me up when i was young.''' (17:23,24)

336. abu bakrah nufai` bin al-harith (may allah be pleased with him) reported: messenger of allah (pbuh) said, "shall i not inform you of the biggest of the major sins?'' messenger of allah (pbuh) asked this question thrice. we said, "yes, o messenger of allah. (please inform us.)". he said, "ascribing partners to allah, and to be undutiful to your parents". messenger of allah (pbuh) sat up from his reclining position and said, "and i warn you against giving forged statement and a false testimony; i warn you against giving forged statement and a false testimony". messenger of allah (pbuh) kept on repeating that warning till we wished he would stop.
[al-bukhari and muslim].

commentary: this hadith mentions some of the major sins. a major sin is one against which there is a serious warning in the noble qur'an and hadith. when disobedience to parents is mentioned along with shirk (polytheism), it makes the fact evident that both of these are very serious sins. similar is the case of telling a lie and false testimony, which in the incident mentioned in this hadith made messenger of allah (pbuh) to leave his pillow and sit attentively. it indicates that the latter two are serious. may allah protect all muslims from all such sins.

337.  abdullah bin `amr bin al-`as (may allah be pleased with them) reported: the prophet (pbuh) said, "(of the) major sins are: to ascribe partners to allah, disobey parents, murder someone, and to take a false oath (intentionally)".
[al-bukhari].

commentary:  there are many more major sins which have been enlisted and discussed at length by muhaddathun in independent volumes, such as az-zawajir `an iqtraf-al-kaba'ir, kitab-al-kaba'ir by adh-dhahabi. this hadith mentions some of the major sins enumerated by the prophet (pbuh) on a particular occasion. we can also say that the sins mentioned here are some of the most serious among the major sins.

338. `abdullah bin `amr bin al-`as (may allah be pleased with them) reported: messenger of allah (pbuh) said, "it is one of the gravest sins to abuse one's parents.'' it was asked (by the people): "o messenger of allah, can a man abuse his own parents?'' messenger of allah (pbuh) said, "he abuses the father of somebody who, in return, abuses the former's father; he then abuses the mother of somebody who, in return, abuses his mother".
[al-bukhari and muslim].

another narration is: messenger of allah (pbuh) said, "one of the major sins is to curse one's parents". it was submitted: "o messenger of allah! how can a man curse his own parents?'' he (pbuh) said, "when someone curses the parents of another man who in return abuses the former's father; and when someone abuses the mother of another man who in return abuses his mother.''

commentary:  we learn from this hadith that one should not abuse anyone's parents, because in the event, he is paid in the same coin, he will be responsible for disgracing his own parents.

339. abu muhammad jubair bin mut`im (may allah be pleased with him) reported: messenger of allah (pbuh) said, "the person who severs the bond of kinship will not enter jannah".
[al-bukhari and muslim].

commentary: this hadith poses a serious threat to those who violate the divine injunctions of maintaining good ties of kinship. in spite of such a serious warning, this major sin is very common in our present-day society. the purpose of this warning is that muslims prevent themselves from it. may allah save us from it.

340. abu 'isa al-mughirah bin shu`bah (may allah be pleased with him) reported: the prophet (pbuh) said, "allah has forbidden you: disobedience to your mothers, to withhold (what you should give), or demand (what you do not deserve), and to bury your daughters alive. and allah dislikes idle talk, to ask too many questions (for things which will be of no benefit to one), and to waste your wealth".
[al-bukhari and muslim].