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His dealing with them was based on tenderness and kindness
Sa’d ibn Abu Waqqaas (a Companion) narrated:
“’Umar (a Companion and the second Caliph) sought permission from the Messenger of Allah, sallal- laahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, to visit him when some women of the Quraysh were busy talking to him and asking too many questions, raising their voices above his voice. When ‘Umar sought permission, they stood up and went hurriedly behind the curtain. The Messenger of Allah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, gave him permission and was smiling. Thereupon, ‘Umar said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, may Allah keep you happy all your life, (meaning to ask why are you smiling?)’ Then the Messenger of Allah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “I wonder at these women who were with me and no sooner did they hear your voice, they immediately went behind the curtain.” Thereupon ‘Umar said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, you have more right that they should fear you.’ Then Umar (addressing the women) said: ‘O enemies of yourselves, do you fear me and do not fear the Messenger of Allah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam?’ They said: ‘Yes, you are harsh and strict as compared to the Messenger of Allah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam’.”1
We extract from this narration that it is recommended to be lenient,
soft, and tolerant unless otherwise (Islamically) needed.
Allah Says (what means):
«And lower your wing [i.e. show kindness] to the believers.»
[Quran: 15:88]
Allah also Says (what means):
«And if you had been rude [in speech] and harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from about you.»
[Quran: 3:159]
Allah also Says (what means):
«And to the believers is kind and mer- ciful.»
[Quran: 9:128]2
المراجع
- Reported by Al-Bukhaari (3683) and Muslim (2397).
- The explanation of An-Nawawi on the book of Muslim (165/15).