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Divorce
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Refuting Misconceptions about Women in Islam
3051
2010/09/26
2024/11/05
islam considers marriage a basis for the islamic family, since it develops bonds of love and caring and a secure atmosphere for the growth and progress of the human race. this, in turn, produces a sound society. this is why the prophet taught us in a narration, that although classified ‘weak’, has a valid and important meaning. he said:"the most detestable of all lawful things in the sight of allaah is divorce." however, this does not mean that divorce is prohibited. on the contrary, it can sometimes be the best alternative. divorce is a right for both women and men if their problems cannot be solved. two french legislators, planoil and ripert, have said: "divorce is a mischief. however, it is a measure that cannot be avoided for the welfare of the community, because it is the only remedy for another harm which may be more dangerous, i.e. murder."
the above statement applies to cases where the husband and wife have lost their love for each other and where harmony in the marriage is over. indeed, any other alternative will make them unhappy and will affect their children in the long run.
in these cases, islam advises the couple to try to reconcile their differences in the presence of some immediate relatives belonging to both sides. if they are unable to do so, they are instructed to seek counseling through a third party, such as friends or other relatives. if there is still no solution, then they should seek a solution through a judge.
the judge will advise the couple to be patient and think of the children. however, if the problem remains unsolved, the family life becomes unbearable and the children are affected, then divorce becomes the only alternative, to enable them to have other spouses.
when it is inescapable, divorce is neither harmful to men nor to women. it is also definitely not unjust to women.
first, the couple must seek divorce in an amicable way. they are instructed to separate without hard feelings towards each other. they should keep a minimum of understanding that will secure the children's situation after the divorce.
the quran says (what means): {divorce is twice. then [after that], either keep [her] in an acceptable manner or release [her] with good treatment. and it is not lawful for you to take anything of what you have given them unless both fear that they will not be able to keep [within] the limits of allaah, and then there is no blame upon either of them concerning that by which she ransoms herself. these are the limits of allaah, so do not transgress them. and whoever transgresses the limits of allaah -- it is those who are the wrongdoers [i.e. the unjust].} [quran 2: 229]
in islam, the woman is not neglected after the divorce. indeed husbands are instructed to provide housing to the divorced wife until her waiting period is completed, as in the saying of allaah (which means): {lodge them (during their waiting period (referring to wives whose divorce has been pronounced) [in a section] of where you dwell out of your means and do not harm them in order to oppress them (so that they would be forced to leave or to ransom themselves). and if they should be pregnant, then spend on them until they give birth. and if they breastfeed for you, then give them their payment and confer among yourselves in the acceptable way; but if you are in discord, then there may breastfeed for him [i.e. the father] another woman.} [quran: 65:6]
finally, although it is true that only men are allowed to pronounce divorce, yet a woman has the right to ask for a divorce, which is called ‘khul’. in this case, she has to return the dowry given by the husband, so that he utters the divorce.