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Kindness toward your wife when you wish to approach her

11970 2010/09/27 2024/12/23

it is desirable, when one aproaches his wife on his wedding night, to show her kindness, such as presenting her with something to drink, etc. this is found in the hadith narrated by asmaa' bint yazid ibn as-sakan who said: "i beautified 'a'ishah for allaah's messenger, then called him to come to see her unveiled. he came, sat next to her, and brought a large cup of milk from which he drank. then, he offered it to 'aa'ishah, but she lowered her head and felt shy. i scolded her and said to her: "take from the hand of the prophet." then she took it and drank some. then, the prophet said to her, "give some to your companion." at that point, i said: "o messenger of allaah, rather take it yourself and drink, and then give it to me from your hand." he took it, drank some, and then offered it to me. i sat down and put it on my knees. then, i began rotating it and following it with my lips in order that i might hit the spot from which the prophet had drunk. then, the prophet said about some women who were there with me: "give them some." but, they said: "we don't want it." (ie. we are not hungry). the prophet said: "do not combine hunger and fibbing!" [ahmad and al-humaidi. ahmad reports it with 2 isnaads - one of which supports the other, and it is supported...]"

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